The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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