Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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