he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
