I wish I could teleport
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
be right there i have to get my cape
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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