Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
