I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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