If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize