end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
