I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
