In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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