Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
