I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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