we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
