I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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