I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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