He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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