went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
