I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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