Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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