He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
