y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
