I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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