your thong is hanging out like whoa
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
