she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
