He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
