He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
