That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
