On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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