Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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