we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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