This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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