You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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