U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
