Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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