This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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