apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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