please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
