look no pants
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
