11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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