Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
