I CAN MOONWALK!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
