So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
