you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
