last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Drunk is a universal language darling
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