Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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