9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
