Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
