i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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