and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
