Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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