but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
