Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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