don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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