He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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