wrigley field is MILF paradise
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
