with your own penis?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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