your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whod you bang
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
