hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
