Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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