After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Pooping to opera.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
