sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
