there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
