The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize