guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You may now shotgun with the bride
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize