After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize