went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
