if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
