What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
