I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
this is an emotional support booty call
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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