Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
